YOUniqueness…

I have been told my entire life that I’m a unique individual. I seriously don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m completely normal… at least in my mind! 😊 Some may call me strange and some may even call me weird. I can only imagine what my wife and children call me… ha ha ha!

Ever since I was a child, I have made an effort to try and fit into every situation and every group. However, I also felt that I needed to do things to stand out and be noticed in order to be included.

I’m not sure why I felt the need to be included in everything. Maybe it was insecurity, maybe it was the feeling I might miss out, maybe it’s my true personality or maybe it’s just who I am. In all honesty, it’s probably all of those things.

As I got older, I realized that getting attention for the sake of getting attention was not necessarily a good thing.

I wasn’t always trying to stand out.  When I was very young, I was introverted and shy for many reasons. But when I discovered I was able to gain people’s attention by sometimes being a little bit silly or acting up a little bit, it was a huge boost in my confidence and a way for me to get the attention that I wanted. I really was just trying to seek attention to be noticed and included.

In my efforts to ensure I would not be left out, I was always cracking jokes and just being a little bit goofy at home. I was one of 5 kids and I was also the one who was generally in trouble or looking to get in trouble.  I got attention, just the wrong kind of attention. Outside of the home, I was not a troublemaker I was just a nice kid. But in my mind, I was invisible. So, I was always plotting on how I could be seen.

I can admit now that compared to most kids my age, I was a little bit quirky and a little bit weird (whatever that means). I put too much effort in trying to be noticed rather than being just being me.

When I entered high school and then college, I was still trying to figure out who I was and how I could fit in. I made every effort to try to be involved in every group and be noticed in every situation. I just wanted to be part of something.

As I look back now, I put a lot of effort into trying to be somebody I was not. But strangely, I really wouldn’t change anything as it helped me realize I didn’t need to be anything other than “me” to be accepted.

Many of us have taken those personality tests at work or with other groups.  You know, the ones where we are assigned a number or a letter or some type of designation to identify who we are. I find these very valuable, as not only does it help explain who I am, but it also helps me understand others and have a better way to communicate with people.

In my former career as an HR Director for a large company, I discovered communication was key and the best way to communicate was to seek to understand the individual before jumping to conclusions. Embracing the unique quality of others fuels excellent communication.

Communication is just not about hearing and listening and taking action. Communication is about learning and partnering with an individual. Now, this is not a blog post about communication. That’s a discussion for another day.

It has taken me a long time to figure out who I am and, in some way, I’m still in the process of discovering more about myself. But now I do it for a different reason. I try to discover how I can communicate better using my unique personality in order to not only get what I need and want but to offer value to others.

I have discovered that it is okay to try and have a good time whenever possible. I love to use humor as a way to communicate and as a way to bring people together. I sincerely try to encourage people to think when I tell my many stories in hopes that I can get my message across.

I have learned that I do not desire to be popular, but simply to be heard.

I am using my experiences to teach my children, and now my grandchildren, the valuable lesson that it is okay to be different and it is okay to be exceptional.

So, what does this have to do with running an online business? Well, I’m glad you asked!

One of the very first mistakes I made when starting this online business was to try to be like everybody else. That does not mean that we should not imitate those who are successful but rather learn from those who are further ahead. Be inspired by them, but form your own path.

I found I was trying to write my emails like other people. I found that I was trying to set up my blog and make it look like others blog posts. I found that I was trying to be somebody other than me.

And then I had a discussion with one of my mentors and he very politely and professionally told me that my content was not relatable because it looked like someone else wrote it.

That hit me hard but was exactly what I needed to hear.

I immediately changed and started to add my own personality into my business and I quickly began to see more success and my Confidence Account grew.

Then I discovered AI. I found how easy AI can make me…lazy! Luckily, I did not fall into that trap. I was given guidance early on to use AI as a tool and not as a substitute for my content.

If used properly, AI can help my business tremendously. It can also hurt it and it can hurt my progress as AI is a system and is not me. A future blog post will dive into the benefits and the challenges of using and sometimes relying on AI as the solution rather than a resource. It definitely has its place, but it cannot take my place.

I was recently on a coaching call with my mentor and he made a statement, “your uniqueness is what makes you unique!” This reinforced what I already knew.

If you have followed me on TikTok, you will have seen that I have changed from where I first started. I moved from trying to copy others to using my personality and humor to gain followers who may become potential customers. I even changed username to better reflect my channel and my niche. I am hopeful that my followers will know that I’m real and may someday come to know, like and trust me. I even want people to see I am one who has many faults, and one who is willing to learn from my mistakes.

If you followed along with me in this journey you will see how my blogging has also changed. I have focused on telling real life stories and then relating them to business and business strategy. That’s just who I am and I don’t plan on changing any time soon.

I’m a fan of the hit TV show Ted Lasso. There are so many lessons in this program and so many wonderful quotes. One of the conversations that Ted has with one of his players goes as follows:

Ted Lasso:
“Jamie, what would you rather be: a lion or a panda?”

Jamie Tartt:
“I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?”

Ted Lasso:
“I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.”

This is such a great exchange and something to think about. I hope I always come to the place where I am me and I celebrate my uniqueness. I wish this for you as well.

Tell me, how do YOU incorporate YOU in your business? Are you like me and try to add humor or tell stories? Are you technically gifted and present your expertise to add value? Are you an expert in your field and are you excited to share what you know? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I would like to learn from you. And I’d love to hear how you are YOUnique.

“The things that make me different are the things that make me, me.” — A.A. Milne (via the character Piglet from Winnie the Pooh)

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” — Dr. Seuss 

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde

And of course, a few VERY BAD Dad jokes:

How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way — unique up on it.

Until next time, STAY FRESH, Friends!

 

 

 

**If you are curious about this process and wish to know more about an affiliate marketing business, please subscribe to my newsletter here to learn more.  And please continue following my blog.  My hope is not only to create the freedom I so long for but pass on what I have learned to others who have similar aspirations.